I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
