you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize