remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Green mimosas i think yes
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
