I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
