I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
