I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I think a kid would responsible me up
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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