My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
