Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize