shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
