I look better un-naked...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize