could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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