Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
