hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
