That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
