He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
