we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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