At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize