so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
