Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
