am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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