Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
