yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Enjoy the penises
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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