No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There r osticjed everywhere
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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