I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
