At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
