Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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