Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
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