that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
