Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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