his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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