this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
how does that bad decision feel?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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