I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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