She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize