Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
where are you?
Hypothermia
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
