I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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