Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
