were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
i think i just lost a toe
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
