I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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