I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
