Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
this boner is exhausting
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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