had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
