He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
