I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
