I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize