You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
