He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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