question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
