I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize