I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
