As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
