You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
