i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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