I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
