when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
